Scraped
Your cold hard grip scrapes my skin. 
Squirming, your jagged edges wound me.
You are ruthless and unforgiving,
You demand submission.
I comply,
desperate for it to be quick,
praying for it to end,
hoping for one cut too many
and I can bleed into darkness.
*****
Flash Friday FIctioneers is brought to you by Madison Woods. Her story and links to the many other fictioneers can be found here.
This screams ‘Abuse’, but I have a feeling it’s not a literal as I think. Whatever the case, the person is in a bad situation. Or desperate one. Great job.
My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/04/26/sharp/
Your first instinct was right. In fact I was trying to take it a bit further and have it be about a rape. Such a nice thought for a Friday morning. I’ll be over to read yours soon.
Loverly, Janet. This is one of your best, I think.
Thanks Jess. That means a lot.
Oh no. Such abuse. Wishing for death.
Strong.
Here’s mine: http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/
Thanks. I couldn’t help but write a dark piece based on the image.
OMG! So poetic and predatory. I get the feeling that it is about rape or some sort of bondage. Beautifully written. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/fridayfictioneers-sobibor/
Yes! You got it right, it was about rape (not the nicest image to start the weekend with but that’s what the image said to me.)
Darkly impressive. A powerful sentiment – hoping to be injured so badly that you die to escape the torment. Well done Janet.
Mine’s at: http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/trespass/
Thanks Sandra, I’m glad you found it powerful.
It felt very much like a surrender to the inevitable, a feeling of powerlessness. Well written.
Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/04/26/flash-friday-fiction-9/
Thanks Erin, that is what I was trying to convey. I’m glad it worked.
I especially liked the first two lines. Scraped is a great word/image.
Thank you Linda. I chose it because of the imagery behind the word scraped and then I realized it also had the word raped in it. It seemed the perfect choice.
Holy smokes, you have a dark streak, Janet. Very attention-getting!
Yes, yes I do. I read once that writers shouldn’t be afraid to write from their dark side.
Wow…I can’t imagine what torture must be happening for your narrator to wish for death. I wonder if it is physical or mental…either was, the pain is perceptible.
~Susan (here’s mine: http://www.susanwenzel.com)
Actually, you were right on both accounts, it was both physical and mental torture.
Can’t imagine the pain here either – she/he’s just wishing it to end – really well done
http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/04/27/friday-fictioneers-torn-flesh-rendered-mute/
I’ve just read it again and it made me think of an animal, say a rabbit, caught in the wire ..
My dirty mind went right to bondage. Nicely done! Here is mine…http://blog.tompoet.com/?p=312
You’re not that far off the mark. I wanted to portray a rape.
So much pain, so much darkness, so good!
Love this poem flash fiction prose!
http://susielindau.com/2012/04/27/life-interrupted-100-word-flash-fiction/
Thanks Susie. I saw a term on a literary journal the other day which I think describes the writing style “Prosetry”. What do you think?
I love it!!!
This brings forth many dark images and theories, none of which are pleasant in any way. Very impressive writing brings forth these kinds of feelings, so bravo on that.
http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/fridayfictioneers-hunterhunted/
Does it sound wrong to say I’m glad it evoked such feelings?
Haha, not at all! It’s a sign of great writing and you should be proud of that.
amazingly done. Nice usage of the barb to represent a personality. I also like the way the wire is catalyst into the suicidal ideas which would ease the person from the pain. nicely done
thanks William. I’m glad you liked it.
That was dark, but it was lovely all the same. Using the barb wire almost as a metaphor for the torments we visit upon each other…
Thanks. It was the perfect image to explore my dark side.
For some reason your first line made me think of wrist pinned down the rape came loud and clear to me
Good job
Thanks Amanda, you got it perfectly.
Some really vivid imagery and raw emotion in such a short format. Excellence indeed.
Thank you Jeffrey. I’m glad you liked it.
As you might imagine, Janet, this one really appeals to me – much darker than your usual work, you have found a penchant ‘eh?
The picture is just perfect and contrasts with the emotion in the poem.
I think you might be right
Excellent prose and fantastic imagery here even though it was dark and disturbing. Taken literally I saw this as someone ending their life which was more pleasant than what I saw when I took it not so literally.
Thanks Michael, I did indeed go very dark on this one. There’s something about barbwire that is just so creepy.
Chilling. Frightening. Like the others, I also visualize bondage and a brutal rape. This is a woman’s worst nightmare. Unable to scream or fight back, I’m sure many of them beg for some sort of release, even death. Anyone having nightmares yet? Here’s mine (a lighter one)
http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
That was exactly what I was trying to portray – rape is both physically and emotionally brutal (not the most uplifting story for a friday but that’s were the image took me.)
Definitely a dark tale. I’m glad to see this prompt being used metaphorically. “Hoping for one cut too many” was great, for me. Shows the desperation of the situation the character is in.
Here’s mine: http://the-drabbler.com/trespass/
Thanks Robert, I didn want to convey that feeling in the end. Glad you felt that.
This was a perfect story for the photo prompt. A hard place to be and a hard piece to write, no doubt. But you pulled it off well and it shows from the long list of positive comments above.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks Doug, I seem to have been in a dark space all week. I’ve been working on my novel and my protagonist has some very dark moments. Once I get into her head, it’s hard to get out.
Very potent darkness in your story, Janet. So concise and full, as yours usually are. I enjoyed it.
Thanks Madison, I just loved the photo prompt.
that was sad and dark!
Thanks for visiting and commenting.
Everything good has been said–I can only echo the sentiments!!!! Very well done!
Mine: http://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html
Thanks so much.
Hi honey
I’ve nominated you for The Creative Chaos Award!
Please don’t feel obligated to take part, but if you would like to, the details are here…..
http://the-view-outside.com/2012/04/29/two-more-awards/
Xx
This gave me shivers. Wonderful poetry.
Here’s mine http://tollykitsjourney.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/flash-fiction-story-3-for-fridayfictioneers-flashfiction/
Thank you. It started out and prose but ended up as poetry, as I mentioned to Susie above, I think the perfect term for it is prosetry.
Great visual – picture!
Powerful visual – story!
Thank You!
Ouch! Graphic and visual. Really good, Could be literal or metaphorical.
Intense I like it
Very desolate, stark and unsettling. I liked this a lot. Leaves the reader to decide on who they are and why they’re there, in a good way. Nice work here.
My entry for the prompt is over here: http://joannakneilson.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/flash-fiction-friday-wire-pilgrimage/
I loved this consonance:
“Your cold hard grip scrapes my skin.
Squirming…”
Great work.