Flash Friday : Simple Pleasures

Sometimes life gets so busy we forget simple pleasures.  Crisp fall leaves, the smell of dirt, gentle trickling water.  I submerge my hands and feel the tiny stones against my palms and the stream, eddying against them, washes your blood away in a delicate whirl of pink roses.

Flash Friday FIctioneers is brought to you by Madison Woods.  Her story and links to the many other fictioneers can be found here.
    • Janet said:

      It’s important to appreciate the moment.

  1. Nice twist (of the knife perhaps?) at the end….

    • Janet said:

      I was hoping the ending would be nice and subtle.

    • Janet said:

      Thanks, I’ll be right over.

  2. Smiles! Anti-climax! Really beautiful expression. One may not even reallize what the last portion says because of how sweet and beautiful the presentation went. Nice one.

    • Janet said:

      Thanks, I was hoping for a sense of surpirse.

  3. crubin said:

    Certainly grabbed my attention with that one! Was not expecting the blood. Loved the juxtaposition.

    • Janet said:

      It’s not usually my style but it just came to me. Wonder what that says?

      • crubin said:

        Probably says you’ve spent too much time on blogs like mine 🙂

    • Janet said:

      thanks for coming by. I’ll be over to read your version.

  4. The ending grabbed my attention. You maybe onto a great psycho thriller novel. Psychos see only beauty in what they do anyway. That’s how they justify themselves.

    • Janet said:

      I’m glad you saw that. Thanks for commenting.

  5. I’m impressed that you told a real story in half the words. It started out as a nature worship thing, but suddenly took on ominous proportions. Good job!
    Here’s mine: bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/

    • Janet said:

      Thank you, I’ll be heading over to read yours.

  6. niiko47 said:

    A bittersweet piece, wonderfully written.

    • Janet said:

      Thanks. I’m glad you liked it.

    • Janet said:

      thanks. I was hoping the ending would catch people off guard. I’ll head over and read your take on the picture.

  7. Oooh, dark story, Janet! “washes your blood away in a delicate whirl of pink roses.” That was my favorite line. Well done. 🙂

    • Janet said:

      Thanks. I have a tendency to go for the dark side.

    • Janet said:

      Good. Glad it caught you by surprise.

    • Janet said:

      Thanks. I find it amazing how different all the stories are stemming from the same inspiration.

      • It truly speaks to the power of imagination and how experience and interest can shape an image into a story for an individual.

  8. Judee said:

    Oh wow, this was such a lovely descriptive piece, and then that last line out of nowhere, yet still written in the same poetic terms, so it’s allmost subtle, yet overwhelming at the same time. Excellent!

    • Janet said:

      Thanks Judee, I’m glad you found the last line unexpected.

    • Janet said:

      I’m glad the ending was a surprise. Thanks for stopping by.

    • Janet said:

      Thank you Doug. I googled the characters in your story and now that I know their history I get a much deeper understanding of your story. Very tragic indeed.

  9. I different perspective entirely…you took us right outta this world and of course, landed us safely in paradise…so lovely piece!

  10. Mike said:

    Excellent story Janet.
    It starts so serenely then finishes with a sense of menace “….. washes your blood away in a delicate whirl of pink roses.”

    • Janet said:

      Thanks, I guess beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. 🙂

  11. I like it. It’s delicate, murderous yet surprising. Come to think of it, that’d be a great line for a wine show.

  12. Janet said:

    Yes indeed. You could also comment on it’s character!

  13. Christy said:

    So much contained in the last sentence! You are an artist using few words. 🙂

    • Janet said:

      Thanks Christy, sometimes less is more. I think that worked this time around.

    • Janet said:

      Thanks, I wanted to leave the end open for speculation. What did she do????

  14. That your character can use such a lovely metaphor to describe her life ebbing is powerful and understated characterization. Nicely done.

    • Janet said:

      Thanks, I appreciate you coming by and commenting.

  15. miq said:

    I like how so many commenters said that your piece was lovely and relaxing. It’s almost like the beginning of the piece lulled them and then they skimmed over the final bit and didn’t notice the ominous change. I know I almost skipped the blood bit and jumped straight to the roses, but then I went back and now I need to know more!

    • Janet said:

      Thanks, I was hoping for a very subltle surprise.

  16. I instantly liked this one. A great shift at the end. You did a great job of conveying the poetic sensibilities of a sociopath. While this works superbly on its own, it could also easily be imagined as part of a killer-thriller type novel. Well done 🙂

    • Janet said:

      Thanks, I have to admit that even though I never planned on it as part of a larger work, all the feedback had got me thinking…

      • Go for it. After all life is full of simple pleasures…

        I loved the way it drew us in and then pounded home a darker tone. I like that we could imagine for ourselves whether there was self-harming, murder or something else involved. Great read.

        • Janet said:

          I think i will work on a larger piece. thanks for the encouragement.

  17. Madison Woods said:

    How very disturbing in so few words! You slipped the end in there like a knife being plunged at the end of a caress. Very smooth work, loved it.

    • Janet said:

      Thanks Madison. You certainly had a busy week end reading all those posts. You need another weekend just to relax.

  18. Jessica said:

    Well, my friend, you’ve just introduced us to the protagonist of your next novel.

    • Janet said:

      Ta da! (you think I’m full of angst now — just wait). 🙂

  19. Lovely meditation in the woods. I like how we get caught up in the descriptions, place ourselves in the narrator’s shoes and then are horrified at what he/we have done. Awesome/

    • Janet said:

      Thanks Craig, I’m glad you liked it.

  20. First, this is complete. So don’t get me wrong when I say it is a stunning opening to a longer piece. I just mean it does everything it is suppose to and more. Robin

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