The Dance

You watch me

as I dance

brushing you gently with my long limbs

you watch with careless regard

your cool touch brushes my edges

but you never stop

to ask my name

*****

Flash Friday FIctioneers is brought to you by Madison Woods.  Her story and links to the many other fictioneers can be found here.

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23 comments
    • Janet said:

      No, it wasn’t just you. That’s the feeling I was going for.

  1. crubin said:

    Loved this one though not sure I can articulate why. Maybe the solitude of it. The metaphor of, perhaps, unrequited love.

    • Janet said:

      Thanks Carrie. And your close – I was trying to use the images to represent the thoughts of an exotic dancer. I guess it could use some tweaking.

    • Janet said:

      Thanks. I’ll be right over.

  2. I love this poem 🙂 Like others before me, I read it as the tree addressing the river, its voice unheard. A silent poem? Striking and affecting imagery conveys emotion throughout. Some Japanese believe spirits to reside in trees, rivers, rocks and so on. Your poem would be at home there, I think. Maybe there’s a haiku lurking here somewhere? 😉

    Here’s my story this week:

    http://andyfloodwritersblog.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/the-lasting-kind/

  3. Tom Poet said:

    A great poem. I love this. You can feel the spirit of the tree, dancing along side the river. Very Nice.
    here is my take on it….http://blog.tompoet.com/?p=264

  4. We are careless as we walk on by… very nice poem!

  5. Madison Woods said:

    I liked that, the never asking her name really added a powerful emotion to the poem.

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