The Dance

You watch me

as I dance

brushing you gently with my long limbs

you watch with careless regard

your cool touch brushes my edges

but you never stop

to ask my name


Flash Friday FIctioneers is brought to you by Madison Woods.  Her story and links to the many other fictioneers can be found here.

    • Janet said:

      No, it wasn’t just you. That’s the feeling I was going for.

  1. crubin said:

    Loved this one though not sure I can articulate why. Maybe the solitude of it. The metaphor of, perhaps, unrequited love.

    • Janet said:

      Thanks Carrie. And your close – I was trying to use the images to represent the thoughts of an exotic dancer. I guess it could use some tweaking.

    • Janet said:

      Thanks. I’ll be right over.

  2. I love this poem 🙂 Like others before me, I read it as the tree addressing the river, its voice unheard. A silent poem? Striking and affecting imagery conveys emotion throughout. Some Japanese believe spirits to reside in trees, rivers, rocks and so on. Your poem would be at home there, I think. Maybe there’s a haiku lurking here somewhere? 😉

    Here’s my story this week:

  3. Tom Poet said:

    A great poem. I love this. You can feel the spirit of the tree, dancing along side the river. Very Nice.
    here is my take on it….

  4. We are careless as we walk on by… very nice poem!

  5. Madison Woods said:

    I liked that, the never asking her name really added a powerful emotion to the poem.

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