Love is photophobic.
Concealed in basements

shifting uneasily,
when fed

listening apprehensively,
to footfalls

fearing cracks,
in the foundation.


This poem is an updated and edited version of my post Like Leonard Cohen.

I’d love to know which one you prefer.

  1. chrisbkm said:

    I prefer this newer version (though the two are very different). It seems stronger and more focused on the nature of love, or this particular love. I can really feel it. Powerful piece. Strange too, in an intriguing way. You’re very present here without actually mentioning it, as in the first piece.

    The first, which I also like (one of my favourite all-time Cohen lines) I see you first, then the love, and then Leonard for a moment. Interesting idea and combination!

    Very different pieces of writing. My preference no doubt is based on my own need to edit writing as far down as I possibly can. I’m afraid, often enough losing story in the process. I wonder if the first is closer to your very short fiction and this one to poetry?


    • Janet said:

      Chris, I think you are on to something. I wrote the first one as a poem, but when I revisited it yesterday, I no longer had that sense. It felt, like you said, more like a piece of fiction.Now, after all the editing, I find they have a very different feel. The editing process never ceases to amaze me. Thanks for your feedback.

  2. Love the title! It opens a realm of possibilities.

    • Janet said:

      Photophobia – how did writers get by without google?

  3. I prefer this pared down version – but I have no knowledge of poetry just sometimes scrawl. I find the first version just a little scary.

    • Janet said:

      The first version was meant to be a little scary so I’m glad you found it that way (if you don’t mind me saying so).

  4. I like the “Like Leonard Cohen” poem better — it created a scene/mood better for me.

    • Janet said:

      I think the moods are definitely different, which amazes me as they were originally the same piece of work. I think Chris, above, was correct in his feeling that the Leonard Cohen one was more like my short fiction, and the second one more poem like. Thanks for your comment.

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